- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino (pronounced “I’ll-eh-fi-no”).
- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
- Why did the scarecrow become a neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
- How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
- What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam.
- How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Why don’t some people trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
- What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-morse code.
- Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
- What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
- Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? Because they peak.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why don’t some people eat clocks? It’s too time-consuming.
- How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.
- How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it.
- Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine!
- How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
- Why was the broom late? It swept in.
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
- Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
- How do you throw a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
- Why don’t you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
- What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- Why don’t some people eat clocks? It’s too time-consuming.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- How does a dog stop a video? It presses the “paws” button.
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine!
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
- How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
- Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? Because they peak.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
