Jokes!

Funny Jokes for Everyone!

Funny jokes are for all ages!
Submitted by kids for kids.

Looking for fun kid jokes? Prongo.com has 1000’s of jokes from clean knock-knock jokes, Pun jokes, and corny jokes to hilarious one-liners and clever riddles, we’ve got the jokes to make your funny bone laugh.

Funny jokes are for all ages! Submitted by kids for kids.

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Joke	Nickname
{Q}What is as big as an elephant and doesn't weigh anything?{A}It's SHADOW	abe
WILMA: What time is it when seven hungry lions are chasing you? HALEY: uuuh. HALLEE: I do not know. WILMA: seven after one	hEnRiEtTa LuCiLe
Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool? Because they couldn't keep their trunks up.	divajd
Why was the teacher cross eyed? Because she couldn't control her pupils!!!!!	lorene
Why was the spy in bed? Because he was undercover!LOL!!!!!	~supastar~
Why was the spider on the computer? Because the spider was finding a web site!	knrk
Why was the skeleton laughing? because of it's funny bone	cookie
why was the police in bed? he was a undercover cop	kekoboy
Why was the piano on the porch? Because it forgot it's keys!!!	AngiePangie
Why was the mosquito up so late? It had to study for its blood test	missy
why was the moon not hungry!!!!! because it was full	moon
WHY WAS THE MATHS BOOK UPSET { because it had many problems ]	dolly
Why was the math book sad? because it has to many problems!	math
Why was the customer of Burger King on the roof? Because the waiter said, " Burger's on the house."	Kat
Why was the car so stinky? it had way to much gas!	lo
WHY WAS THE BROOM LATE FOR WORK. IT OVER SWEPT	LELE
Why was sally's horse called ink? because he kept running out of the pen!	411girl
Why was Mother Owl upset with Junior Owl? Beacause he didn't give a hoot about doing his homework	MLC
Why was Cindrella late for the ball? She forgot to swing the bat.	Lafy Tafy
Why was cinderella not good at football? Because she had a pumpkin as a coach	cinderella
Why is there always a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in!	Bryceman
Why is it too hot in a stadium after a football game? all the fans have left	Mani
WHY IS IT SO EASY TO FOOL A VAMPIRE. BECAUSE THERE SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!	YO MAMA 24
Why is it bad to do math in a jungle? Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate	Blubber
Why is cinderella not good at football? Because she runs away from the ball	Natalie Grimes
Why is Alabama the smartest? Because it has 4A's and a B	Cindy
Why is a math book so grumpy? Because it has so many problems.	Julian
Why is a lost dalmation easily found? because he's always spotted!	Mani
Why is a horse like a wedding? Because they both need a GROOM!!!	Brooke
Why is a horse like a wedding Because they both need a groom!!!!!!!!!!	BECKBOO
why is a ghost always sad? Its always blue!	Aillie
Why is a football stadium cool? Because there`s a fan in every seat!!!!	Leigh
Why is a classroom like an old car? Because its full of nuts and has a crack at the front.	Hanmin
Why don't aliens get hungry? Because of the mars, the milkyway and the galaxy.	abbi dabbi doo
Why does vampires brush their teeth? To stop bat breath.	eee!
Why does the light go out in the refrigerator? So the tomato doesn't see the salad dressing.	Jason
Why does a Rhino have so many wrinkles? Cause he's hard to iron.	Skeeter
why do you need to pack a band aid in your lunchbox? for the cold cuts.	bubbles
WHY DO THEY CALL A TREX A TREX? BECAUSE IT'S SHAPED LIKE A T AND IT RECKS STUFF.	TREX
Why do some football players never sweat? because of all there fans!	fashion is my middle name
Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.	sharkman
Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!	pealsapples
why do people never listen to walnuts jokes? because there a-corny!	ducky4536
why do Gorillas have big nostrals? because they have big fingers	gangsta
why do giraffes have long necks? because they have smelly feet!	Didie
Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze	fishies
Why do elephants were red nail polish? to hide in cherry trees..have you seen elephant in a cherry tree lately? They must be doing good!	ak
why do dragons breath fire?because they need to let off steam.	aragon
Why do cows have bells. Because their horns dont work.	Floww
Why do cheetahs don't like playing hide and seek? Beacause they all ways get spotted!	Wiggles
Why do babies like to play basketball? They like to dribble!	rachy
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's ark in an apple? Because they had to go in a pair!	Joseph Thomas Marchant from robin hood
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? cuz he didn't have the guts.	parralelparker
Why didn't the orange cross the road!! Because he ran out of juice.	Levi
Why didn't the nickle roll down the hill with the penny???? It made more cents!!	Carolineeee
WHY DIDN'T THE MAN DIE WHEN HE DRANK THE POSITION?HE WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM.	SASSYLOVESU
Why didn't the lion eat the clown? Because they taste funny!	LauraJessie97
why did woody (on toy story) have alot to say? They kept pulling his string.	baby balla
why did the women plant gold in the garden? because she wanted rich soil	oj
Why did the woman hold her purse out in the rain? She wanted to see if there was any change in the weather.	siris the viris
Why did the vampire go to the cafeteria? ANS:He dropped in to get a bite!	Pips
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!	Josie Gale
why did the tiger always lose relay races because the other guy was a terrible cheetah	dudu
why did the thermometer go to college? Because he wanted to get a degree	moon face
Why did the sun give a half moon a sandwich? Because he wasn't full.	Niqua
why did the spider go on his computer? Because he wanted to go on his website	doggy
Why did the robber paint his hands blue? Because he didn't want to get caught red handed	twiz
why did the police man watch the baseball game? Because somone stole second!	base ball game
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? because he lost his filling	tor
why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill ? cause it ran out of juice ......	sick joke !!
Why did the orange roll half way down the hill. cause it ran out of juice.	joker
Why did the orange roll down the hill because it ran out of juice!	grimesy
Why did the orange go to the hospital? It was not peeling well	Monkeylover
Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because he was peeling!!!!	beach babe
Why did the nurse bring a RED marker to school? In case she had to draw blood!	winker
Why did the monster eat the train? Because it said choo-choo!	josh at elverta
Why did the monkey say to his little brother? you're driving me bananas!	tator top
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash!	chris
WHY DID THE LITTLE GIRL THROW THE BUTTER THROUGH THE WINDOW? BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SEE BUTTER-FLY	ANNA BRITISH
Why did the little boy put paper over the TV? He was trying to make paper view.	Nabri
why did the lady want wheels on her rocking chair ? so she could rock and roll	h
Why did the knife go to the doc? Because he had a splitting headache.	waldo
Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowd	den
Why did the kid sleep with a ruler? To measure how long he slept!	socks
Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!	megabucks
Why did the kid bury the flashlight underground? Because the batteries were dead	squeeze neice
Why did the jellybean go to school Because he wanted to be a smartie	smiley
Why did the jelly bean go to school? Because it wanted to be a smartie	Star Baby
Why did the house go to the doctor? Because he had window panes!!!	angel
Why did the Hamburger go to the gym? To get better buns!!!!	Who's Funny?
Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? because he felt jumpy.	shelly
Why did the girl think she was the ruler of the soccer field? Because she had the yard stick!	HOTTIE
Why did the girl think she was in charge of the class? because she had the ruler ha, ha, ha	beebetz
why did the girl run around her bed? BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO CATCH UP WITH HER SLEEP.	MONKEY
WHY DID THE GIRL RUN AROUND HER BED? because she wants to catch up on her sleep!!!	lgirl
why did the ghost wear a bandage? because it had a boo-boo!!!	leo sandoval
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get it's quarterback	shorty
Why did the Football coach go back to the bank? He had to get his Quarterback.	Flower
Why did the flamingo lift up one leg to drink water? because if he lifted up the other leg he would've fell!!!	princess
Why did the fish stay home from school? She was feeling a little under the water.	tcat
Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because it kept running out of his pen	hgidt
Why did the elephant have a rotten vacation? Because he forgot his trunk!!!!!!	Spiro
Why did the egg go to the doctors? Because he had a cracking headache.ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!	tybo
Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was the chickens day off.	isaac pink
why did the duck become a spy? answer: because he was good at quacking codes	richyrich
why did the dragon's house catch on fire? because it slept with its mouth open.	sahar
Why did the dinasaur cross the road? because the chicken wasn't invented yet	dukeface
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he was feeling crummy.	Regicoscram
Why did the cookie go to the Doctor? Because it was felling crummy. HA HA HA	Jerry
Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because it felt crummy!!!	abay bay
Why did the computer went to the store? to go buy some chips.	t-bone
Why did the computer go to the doctor? because it had a virus!	Mz.britbrit
Why did the class clown crawl around the playground all night? Because he lost his marbles!	brothers peltz
why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side	paramorefan
why did the chicken cross the road half way? she wanted to lay it on the line.	myrtle
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.	Delaney
Why did the cheeseburger run away from ketchup? Because he didn't want to catch up with his past.	Faith
Why did the boy need a lader for school? because it was a high school	the yas joke
WHY DID THE BOY GO TO THE PARTY WITH A DIAPER ON? BECAUSE HE DIDINT WANT TO BE A PARTY POOPER!	dude
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because it was a piece of cake!	Sunny
Why did the bee get married? because she found her honey	sarai
Why did the batter build his house on legs? so he could have a homerun	Dewy
Why did the basketball player go to the doctor? A: To get more shots	maddy
Why did the banker take away the rinos credit card. So he would stop charging.	TaLl
why did the banana go to the doctors? because he wasn't peeling very well	liv
Why did the banana go to the doctors Because he wasen't peeling well	Alexandra
Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head? he needed hare	baldy
Why did the baby chick go to the dollor store? Every thing was "cheep cheep"	m and m sisters
Why did the "Fun Guy" leave the party? Because there wasn't mushrooms!	Totally Toast
Why did spongebob wear to pairs of pants to go golfing? In case he got a hole in one!	lu
Why did Mozart sell his chickens? A. Because they wouldn't stop saying "Bach, Bach, Bach."	Del
Why did mickey mouse shrink himself? To be with Minnie	Karith CupCakith
why did Mickey mouse go to outer space? Because he wanted to see pluto	karlin twiss My real name .
Why did Max wear a helmet to bed? Because he wanted to crash!	Bear-Bear
Why did John walk backwards to school? it was back to school day	school
Why did batman go in a tree? To look for Robin	Gieco
Why did a girl through her clock out the window? because she wanted to see time fly	bear bear be square
why did a crab get arrested?????? because it kept it pinching	poppadom
Why couldnt the elephant go on the plane. His trunk didn't fit under the seat	kool
why couldnt the bike move any more. The bike was to tired. ha ha ha	sparky
why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie? because it was rated RRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr	zack's girlfriend
why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? because it had no thumbs to ring the bell!!!	leo sandoval
why could'nt the pirate play cards? answer:he was standing on the deck	dinoducks4eva
Why could Peter pan fly? Because he could never never land.	caity
why cant you play dolls with a dragon? because it might be barbie-qued ha ha ha	joker
Why can't you tell jokes while you're ice skating? ANSWER: the ice will crack up!	A-a
Why can't the leopard escape the zoo? He always gets spotted!!!	gina228
Why can't Potatos hear? ANSWER:becaues Corn has ears and patatos have Eyes.	cool dudeet
Why are twin witches hard to tell apart? They can't tell which witch is which. lollollollollollollol!!!!!!!!!!!!	candy girl
Why are trees loud? Because they have a bark!	Angel
why are teachers different from trains? one says spit out your gum and the other says chew chew chew.	Benny
Why are penguins so popular on the internet? because they have web feet	chancha987
Why are little Egyptians confused? Because there daddys are mummies.	Lil John
Why are horses so hard to get along with? Because they always say "NEY"!	George
Why are gorilla's nostrils so big? Because their fingers are!!!	Sarah
Why are fish bad at tennis? They don't want to go near the net!	1 blink 2 blink
Why are dragons bad bosses? Because they keep on firing people	Berry
WHY ARE BASKETBALL PLAYERS ALWAYS WET? BECAUSE THE PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS DRIBBLING	FLYER
Why are a tree and an elephant the same? They both have a trunk	thepinkgirl
Who's is the only super hero you can eat? Obi-wan canoli!	spiderbird
Who won the miss ghostly contest?? No body!	jana wana
Who is the person that arm-wrestlers don't want to meet? Answer: Neil Armstrong	cool6482
Who is the newspaper editor's favorite person? A: The Press-ident	Spitfunny101
who do you call when you hurt your toe...... a toe truck.	dav
WHO DO YOU CALL WHEN AN INSECT IS HURT? ANWSER: AN ANT-BULANCE!	isy
Who did Frankinstein take to the dance? His goul freind!	Beaver
Which state has a ton of laundry to do? Washington!	nene 012thisle
Which president is the biggest ham? Abraham (Lincoln of course)	Money
Which Muppet is hard to see through? kirmet the fog	liz
Which is the gate we can't pass it ? Colgate [tooth paste]	Athu
Which is the biggest jam? traffic jam	amru
which candle burns longer,a red one or a green one? neither, they both burn shorter!	dogalog
WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE TO EAT WHILE TRAVELING? WHEN THERE IS A FORK IN THE ROAD	peanut
Where were you when you cut off the lights? In the dark!!! ha ha ha	jessie
Where does vampires take baths? In the batroom!	Beaver Boy
Where does the president keep in armies???? In his SLEEVES!!!!	Klunker
Where does the EASTER BUNNY go to eat breakfast? at IHOP	paul derfus!!!
Where does Santa go on his vacation? A Ho-Ho-Hotel	Nick
Where does santa clause swim? the north pool	yo yo
where does mickey (in ninja turtles)hate to be sited in a restaurant? In a non-joking section.	night wing
Where does a snowman go to dance? A snow ball!!!	Diamond
Where do you wash a vampire? In the bat room	mariam
Where do you take a sick wasp? To the waspital!	hot roma
Where do you leave your dogs when you go to a football game?? In the BARKING LOT!!	home slice
Where do superman's goldfish live? In the superbowl.	fishyperson
Where do sheep go on vaction? To the Bahamas!!!!	Jenny
Where do sheep go on vacation? The Bahahahama's!	kierra
Where do polar bear keep there money? In snow banks.	Nelliesamantha
where do people with no hair live? in baldimore	brandlea10
Where do mise go for vacation? The leening tower of cheesa!	acacia
where do lions get their clothes? JUNGLE SALES	funkeychic
where do ghosts live? In dead ends	chabernaberquire
Where do fish keep their money? in river banks. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	katie bug
Where do fish cash a check? At the river bank!	hopis
Where do cows go on dates? The moooovies!	jla
Where do cows get there medicine? The farmacy	Browniecake
Where do abominable snowman go to dance? To snowballs.	yeh!
Where did the sheep get a haircut? At the Baaaarber shop.	Sel
Where did the pencil go on its vacation? Pennsylvania!	superstar101
Where did the football players fish live? the SUPERBOWL!!!	FISHYS
Where did the farmer take his pigs on a sunny Sunday afternoon? On a pignic	Ky
Where did tarzan go on his vacation? To hollywood & vine!	CES
WHERE CAN YOU FIND AN OCEAN WITH NO WATER? ON A MAP	SPUX
When is it a good time to go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty(2:30)	Gotinx
When is a door not a door? When its a jar	brandon
When do you see the most frogs? When it is froggy out.	pesty
When do you see a cute person? When you look at me. That's true. If you don't think so come see me.	Brandy
When do ghosts play tricks on each other? on April ghouls day.	tut! tut! tut! tut!
WHEN DO DUCKS WAKE UP? THE QUACK OF DAWN!!!!	WILLIA
When a surfer get's married what does he say? I Dude!	Goofy.L.
whats the only ride that a baby can ride? A strollar coster	nutt case
Whats the difference between a teacher and a train. the teacher says spit out your gum and the train says chew chew chew.	nubero
Whats the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.	gem gem
whats the best thing to put on a pie? your teeth!	bu bu
Whats green and sings? Elvis Parsley!!!	Ducky
Whats another name for a snail. A booger with a crash helmet.	TaLl
whats a sharks favorite game? swallow the leader	averi cherie williams
whats a lion favorite game?preystation	flamzing
What’s a cats favorite color? purrrrrrrrrrple	silly sasauges
What's the tallest building in your city? A Library of course! Because it has the most stories	Vman
What's the meanest type of shoe? Pumas	bever
what's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground	maloki
What's the ghost team that won the world series? The boo jays	funky monkey
What's the dogs least favorite doggy bag? a Fleabag!!!!	dragoon1223
What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.	joejoe
What's easy to get into, but hard to get out of? Trouble.	Thika.
What's a snakes favorites subject? hisss tory	dan
WHAT'S A PLANT'S FAVORITE DRINK? ROOT BEER!	MAWC
What's a pirate's favarite letter? Arrhhh (R)	Shawnella
What's a minister's favorite thing about a Televistion????) the PRAYstation!!! LOL-- Top That!	choPPer 97
What's a fish'e worst day? Friday	abe
What's a dogs favorite pizza topping? Puperoni	Lea
What would you do if a rhino charged at you 60mph? I'd do 70.	London girl
What weighs nothing and is as big as an elephant? An Elephant’s shadow!	dog
What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves	Bee
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WOODEN CAR ? IT WOODEN GO !	DUCKY GIRL
what was squidwards[from spongebob squarepants] girlfriends name? Think about it his favorite instrument it is a clara-net ?	vany01841
What type of table doesn't have any legs? a multiplication table	baby101
WHAT TYPE OF SWIMMING TECHNIQUE CAN'T YOU DO IN A KITTY POOL? THE DOGGY PADDLE!	JJAY
What type of room has nothing in it? a mushroom	plack monster
WHAT TYPE OF OF FLOWER IS UNDER YOUR NOSE ANWSER:TULIPS	KITTY
What turns red when you scratch its head????? A match	dusty
What trees do fourtune tellers look at? palm trees	box head
What time is it when your feet are raw? Time to get shoes.	jessica
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to buy a new fence!	Yodelady
what time is it when a elephant sits on your watch? Time to get a new watch!	sha sha
What time is it when a elephant sit's on your fence? answer:Time to get a new one.	May
What starts with T ends with T and is full of T A Teapot!!!!!!!!!!!	Hana
What starts with p, and ends in e and has millions of letters in it? A post office	livia
What starts with E,ends with E, and only has one letter? An envolope	katherine R.
What sort of fish comes out at night time? A starfish!!!!!!	cookie
What should a short sighted ghost have? spooktacles!	really!
What should a short sighted ghost have? spooktacles!	Ell
What room has no doors windows and no walls? a mushroom	devin rizzo
what room can a student never enter? A mushroom	welcome
What place is a ghost scared of?A living room	skippy
What part of a fish weighs the most? ANS: the scales	Pips
what occurs once in a minute twice in a moment but never in a day? The letter M	scraggycat
What kind or dance do you do on a trampoline? (Hip-Hop!)	Faith is wise
What kind of water do you take on a plane? Plain Water	master
What kind of underware did King Tutt where? Fruit of the tomb.	pea.daddy
What kind of trick can a bunny do on a BMX bike? Answer: A BUNNY HOP	audrey
What kind of star goes to jail ? A shooting star	cooko
What kind of soap do seacreaters use? tide	twiff
What kind of shoes do snakes wear? Snakers!!!!	katy
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals.	Tiff
What kind of phones do they use in prison? Cell phones!!!!!!	pam
What kind of keys do kids like???? cooKIES!!!!!!!!	cutie
What kind of jacket does an octopus wear? Answer: An ARMY jacket	duckey
What kind of fish lives in holy water? an angelfish	lol
What kind of duck never quacks? DUCK TAPE!	Pooh
What kind of dog can tell time? A watchdog!	Cassie
What kind of dinosaur drinks tea? A T-Rex.	Hailey110299
What kind of cut does the bee get? A buzz cut	alley
what kind of car does mickey mouse drive. a minnie van	katlynder
WHAT KIND OF CAR DOES A BULL HAVE? A BULLDOZER	DENI
what kind of beans does draucula like answer:a human beans	nicky
What kind of animal do you not want to play games with? A cheetah!	Allie
What is your name? BILL. How do you spell it? B I L L. I spell it I T	jess
What is your date of birth? July 15. Which year? Every year.	HARRIS
What is the tallest building? The library cause it has most stories.	shining star
What is the tallest building? The library because it has the most stories.	Spokes
What is the scarest day of the week? Frightday	princess cool
What is the perfect souvineir? Handcuffs Because they are made for two-wrists! (tourists)	Miranda Panda
What is the most tired part of your car? the exhaust pipe	your car
What is the most musical part of a turkey? The drumstick	Neha Madeyanda
what is the laziest mountain: mount everREST	sarah
What is the hardest thing in skydiving the ground	Billy Bob the 3rd
What is the hardest bow to tie? A rainbow	Mackadamia
What is the funniest bone...the trombone	Elle
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle? use a cow-culator	samantha
What is the biggest word in the world /smiles because there is a mile next to each s.	yo
What is the best hair cut to give your lawn? A MOWhawk!	Bryce Cyrier
What is the begining of eternity the end of time and space. The middle of forever and the end of every place? The letter E! Ha Ha!	Isaac
What is Santa's favorite candy? A jolly rancher	gabe burch
What is Santa's favorit place to go? Lake Ta ho ho ho! HO HO HO!	Kristail
What is round as a cookie, busy as a bee? What can it be? A watch	cutie pie
WHAT IS RED, WHITE, BLACK, AND YELLOW? a NEWSPAPER WITH KETCHUP ADN MUSTARD ON IT.	hello( you know)
What is harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath.	SABBY
What is green outside and red inside? Watermelon!	Yos
WHAT IS BLACK, WHITE, BLUE, RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, PURPLE AND GREEN? I DON'T KNOW, YOU FIGURE IT OUT!	HI
WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER? SANTA COMING DOWN A CHIMNEY!!!!	T-DOG
what is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing? an elephants shadow!!!!!	alexis
What is an Alligators favorite drink? Gatorade. Hahahahaha	Magic Girl
What is an aliens favorite game? All star baseball	lord
what is an alagators favorite drink? gatorate	paul m
What is a tree's favorite trunk? Root Beer	Money
WHAT IS A SNAKE'S FAVORITE SUBJECT? HISS-STORY	RasberryKelly
What is a mummy's favorite food? A wrap! That is the funniest joke EVER!	funnybunny
What is a monsters best day of the week? Chewsday	cool chick
WHAT IS A MOLE'S FAVORITE GAME. DON'T WHACK A MOLE	FREAKY GIRL
What is a ghosts favorite lunch meat? Boolony	scott payton
What is a ghosts favorite jam? Booberry Jam!	Sarah Knight
What is a ghosts favorite food? Anwser: BOO berrys!!Haha!	BOO!!
What is a foot that has no toes? A ruler!	sjrocks!!!!
what is a fly a car and a pet. a flying carpet.	pony
What is a clouds favorite color? Every color of the rainbow!	sra
What is a boxers favorite sandwich? A Knuckle Sandwich	lil jj
What is a Basketball Players favorite kind of story? Tall Tales	twin B
WHAT HAVE TEETH AND CAN'T BITE? COMB.	MC HAMMER
what has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle? A doughnut	mano
What has holes but holds water? A sponge	Antonio
What has four eyes but cant see? Mississippi...lol	eyes
What has a head and a tail but no body A Quarter	buldoge
What has 18 legs and catches flies? a baseball team!	Phily
what has 4 wheels 1 horn and gives milk? a milk truck	kitty
What has 4 legs but can't walk? A chair	fishy
What has 4 legs a tail and is black and white? A HORSE IN JAIL	right on
What Has 4 Legs & Can't Walk? A Chair	Maddie
What happens when you think in the shower? Answer: BRAINWASH xD	anttubabii
What happens when a panda causes trouble? Panda-monium! HA-HA	tarty
What happened to the monster who took the 5'o clock train home? He had to bring it back!	OHM
what happened to the bird who was ill he had to have tweetment	bambi
WHAT GOES UP WHITE COMES DOWN YELLOW. A: A EGG	KENDRICK AND TOBY
What goes up when the rain goes down? A. an umbrealla	T.V. GIRL SHEA
What goes up but never goes down? your age	ghdfgdfc
What goes up but never comes down? Your Age	cowgirlup95
What goes up and never comes down? Your age.	angel
WHAT GOES UP AND NEVER COME DOWN? ANSWER:YOUR AGE	KELLY
What goes oooooooh? A cow with no lips	bud
what goes hahahathump? A man laughing his head off 😀	Jess n Tina
What goes around the world and stays in a corner? A Stamp	unknown
WHAT DU U CALL A DEER WITH NO EYES. NO EYE DEER	PIMP
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!	Katy
What does the bee comb his hair with? A honeycomb!	sara
What does the banana say to the other banana? A.Keep you eye's peeled	may-maycool
What does an elf learn in school? answer- the elfabet	mnm
What does a witch math teacher give you? A math curse	GATE student 😀
What does a tree drink at a party? root beer	a
What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.	Ashely101
what does a rockstar and a geologist have in common? they both like rock	chelsey h
What does a owl say when he meets someone? HOOT ARE YOU?	Twinkie
What does a lazy dog chase? parked cars..haha	lazy dog
What does a lamb do when it calls its mom? Hi Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa	1Emu
What does a frog like to dance to? HIP HOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Flavor flav
what does a fish say when it hits a cement wall? Dam	smurf
What does a dog and a tree have in common? They both bark	DRY
what does a cat say if he/she wants to play :cat i play to	you
What does a bee do flying backwards? zuzub zzub zzub	beans
What does a basketball player have in common with a baby? They both dribble	kay kay
What does a 200 pound mouse say to a cat? Here kitty kitty kitty!!!!!!!!	Crazy Cowgirl
What does 24 feet of water and a bad report card have in common? They're both under C level!	hhharrypppotter
What do you where in winter that is cross between a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolie jumper!	daffy dill
What do you use to fix a broken tooth? Answer: toothpaste.	matthew
What do you see on a clear day in California? U.C.L.A.	cowgirlup95
What do you put on a pumpkin when he has a cut? A pumpkin patch!	Pretty Princess
What do you have when you have 7 oranges in your right hand and 5 in the other hand? answer- big hands	twinky
what do you give a tiger and a parrot combined? any thing it wants	adog
What do you get with a cow school play? ANSWER: A moooooosical!	bigfoot the 3rd
What do you get when you pass milk and ducks? Milk and qwackers.	kk
What do you get when you mix Yu-Gi-Oh with homer? Yu-Gi-d'oh	nickman
What do you get when you cross superman and a bowl? SuperBowl	Nicky
what do you get when you cross poison ivy and a 4 leaf clover A rash of good luck!	little miss smarty pants
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino: elephino	Ghost Jones
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a goldfish swiming trunks	winky
What do you get when you cross a wink with a happy face? ANSWER: A ONE EYED SMILE!	eree
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost-bite	Tony
What do you get when you cross a vampire & a teacher? Lots of blood test!	Kate Girl
What do you get when you cross a snake and a book? Hisstory!	jokertin86
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SKUNK WITH A TEDDY BEAR? WHINNIE-THE-PU	Kitty
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PRINCIPLE WITH A CLOWN? ANSWER:FUNNY TROUBLE	COTTONTAIL
What do you get when you cross a porcupine & a pig? Porky Pine	Morgstar man
What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream? You get wet feet	RobMan
What do you get when you cross a giant with a skunk? a big stink	giant and skunk
What do you get when you cross a fish and a cat? A prrrrrrrana get it hahahahha.	TENA
What do you get when you cross a elephant with a computer? A ton of knowledge	cutie 3
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? ( milk & quackers)	Kasey
What do you get when you cross a chicken by a chicken? Answer:a Chicken Dumpling!!!!	Nicole
What do you get when cross an insect with a rabbit? Answer:Bugs bunny	super man
What do you get when a Jauger and a elephlet are together? A: A Fancy car with a long trunk!	Punisher
What do you get wen you cross a duck with a cow? Cheese and quakers!	Ezra
what do you get if you cross spongebob with Albert einstein? ....spongebob smartypants!!!!!!!!	matt
What do you get if you cross an electric blanket with a toaster? You pop out of bed in the morning!	Pri
What do you get if you cross a teacher and a vampire? A blood test	jayjay
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? a wooly jumper!	monkeysrule said queenbadbananas
WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A KANGAROO WITH A SHEEP? a WOOLY JUMPER	HUSHA
What do you find in a clean nose? fingerprints	speckles
WHAT DO YOU FEED TEDDY BEARS? ANSWER: STUFFING (like at thanksgiving)	H2O TO THEEE MAX !!
what do you feed a teddy bear? You can't its already stuffed.	teddy
What do you do when your auntie is sick? Give her some auntieseptic.	vicky.b.
What do you do when you brake your big Toe?? Answer: Call a Big Toe Truck. Ha Ha	Little Angie
What do you do when a dragon sneezes. Run for the fire extinguisher!	zee
What do you do if a rhino charges you? You give him your credit card!!!	Lucas Walker
What do you call two marred spiders Newely-webs.	steveo
What do you call to banana peals?¿ A pair of slippers/hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha	frogger the frog
what do you call frosty the snow man in summer? a puddle	jj
What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nocho cheese.	cool kulls
What do you call a wizard with a runny nose? Harry snotter	Abbie
What do you call a witch with a broken broom and her thumb up? A witch-icher	stef
What do you call a vampire who's car breaks down three miles from a bloodbank?A cab	Vampiro
What do you call a vampire that is sick? A sickpire.	Carcar
what do you call a train full of toffee? A chew chew train!	storm
What do you call a T-Rex with Spider Man? A man eating spider!	LINZZ
What do you call a strawberry when it is sad? A blueberry!	applesoup
what do you call a snowman that crosses a vampire frostbites	sin
what do you call a snail on a ship?...... snailer	dss
what do you call a snail on a boat? A snailer	pimp stuff
What do you call a sleeping bull? ANSWER: A bulldozer	yellow hummer
What do you call a robo skunk? R2PU!!!!	Flame
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A. Porkchop (Hah)	shorty324
What do you call a pig on a hot day? Bacon	Princess
What do you call a old man watching the time? An Old Timer!	Star
What do you call a monkey that stinks. A funky monkey	montell
what do you call a millionair with no money ....a zerorownair	lilly
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms in your mailbox? Bill	homie g
What do you call a man who tried to steal a cat? A catnapper	Robert K.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A HIPPO WHOS SLURPING NOODLES?A SLURPOPOTAMAS	NOODLE SLURP
What do you call a fruit that is a genius? mangogenius	mg
what do you call a flying elephant? a jumbo jet	ning
what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk	crazy acrubber
What do you call a fish without a eye?Fsh	Fish
What do you call a fish with no i's? A Fsh!	fishy
What do you call a fish with no eyes? answer: FSH	woogie9
What do you call a fake noodle? an impaster!	madzangill
what do you call a dinosaur that can't see? do-ya-think-he-saw-us	maloki
What do you call a deer with no eyes? ? ? 🙂 A No'I deer x x x	Danz'Babe x
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer	Gilly
What do you call a deaf monster? Anything you like he cant hear you	jake
what do you call a cow in an earthquake? a milkshake	mac
What do you call a city with over 2500 eggs? New Yolk City	froglips
what do you call a bunny at the northpole ? LOST!	pieman
What do you call a bull that sleeps? A Bulldozer	Sam
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BULL SLEEPING?? A BULLDOZER!!! HEHEHE..	S
What do you call a bubble in trouble? BUBBLETROUBLE	bubble CHICK
What do you call a box of ducks? A Box of quacks! ha! ha! ha! ha!	chey
What do you call a berry that is always sad? A BLUEBERRY!!	reef
what do you call a bear with no shoes? Bear foot.	daniela
What do you call a baby partial? A:Adam	mini
What do ya say when a dinosaur does't see ya? I don't think he saur-us	dino
What do vampires wear in the fall? Bat-to-school clothes. HaHaHaHa!	tweety
What do u call a train full of sweets? A chew chew train	daz
what do u call a piece of wood that has nothing to do? a board/ Ha!Ha!Ha!	maganter
what do u call a monkey hanging on bars? Monkey bars	bre babe
What do u call a dog with a fever? A "hot dog".	Shay Baby
What do snowmen eat for cereal? frosted flakes	bubble but 54
What do snowman eat for breakfast????? Snowflakes!! hahahaha	Trich5
What do skeletons say before they eat? Bone appetit!	charchar
What do pigs get when they're ill? oinkment	piggys
What do oceans do when they pass each other? They wave!	dan
what do most people like to put in their cake? THEIR TEETH!!!!	chris brycz
What do fish say when they pucker? pucker up baby and give me a smack on the lips	fishiy
What do elves first learn in school? The elf-abet	zaido blue
What do elephants use to talk to another elephants? The elephone	ashashmartin
what do computers like to eat? megabytes	little monkey
What do clean noses have inside? Fingerprints.	Akshay
what do call a girl with a weave? unbeweaveable	niny
WHAT DO BEES WHERE WHEN THEY GO TO THE BEACH? A BEEKINI	KITTY
What Do Bees Wear When They Go Swimming??? BEEkinies	Crystalite
What do bees use on their hair? A honeycomb!	kenny
what do bees ride to school? The school buzz.	arkgirl
What do basketballs and babies have in common. answer:THEY BOTH DRIBBLE	darnelll
What did they give tweety when she was sick? A medical tweetment	bubba
What did the two history teachers talk about on there date? Old Times	cutie pie
What did the tree say to the other tree? I'm rooting for you!	bonez
what did the traffic light say to the car? ANSWER IS: dont look,im changing.	Ant
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, i'm changing!	G-Money
What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed the doctor is taken us out tonight	pepperabby
What did the teacher say to the sweet student???? Your a piece of cake!!!!!	phebs
What did the teacher say to the horse when he came into the classroom ? Answer -why the long face	Tiana
WHAT DID THE TEACHER EAT FOR LUNCH? A TEACHERBURGER	SAE
What did the story-telling cat say when he backed into the electric fan???? Thats the end of my TALE, TAIL	Hana
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Answer:Stick with me and we we'll go places	blank
What did the snake write at the bottom of the note? L0VE AND HISSES.	missy
what did the skeleton say before he ate? boneapatete	dragon breath
What did the skeleton order for dinner... prime rib	jutm
What did the scarf say to the hat? You keep an eye up there and I'll hang around here!!!	Jaye-Louise Hall
what did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered	caca
What Did the Rhino say to the Hippo when it was her birth day? Hipp- Hipp Horay!!!	Mrs.Piggy
What did the red shirt say to the other red shirt. Nothing beause everybody knows shirts can not talk lol.	Anayah
What did the red fish say to the blue fish? you're looking blue, do you feel well?	Pokemon girl
What did the quarter name his daughter? penny	sammi
what did the pumpkin say to his pesty little brother? cut it out	honey
what did the plate say to the other plate? lunch is on me.	na nehn babo
What did the plant do in math class? Answer: It grew square roots!	killer
What did the plane do before it landed? Took Off	princess jess
What did the orange say to his mom? "I'm not peeling well."	C.A.T
What did the octupus say to the lady octopus? I want to hold you Hand, Hand, Hand,Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand	Bubbles
what did the octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand	moni q
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!	Ange
What did the north say to the south? We are positive together	ash
What did the nickle say to the penny... I have more cents than you!!!	mocca
What did the Mummy monster say to the baby monster at lunch time? Dont speak with someone in your mouth!	cheeky monkey
What did the mummy ghost say to the baby ghost? Spook when your spooken to!	ambeee
What did the moster say when it was scared? I want my mummy	RAHUL AND MEENA
What did the mommy volcano say to the baby volcano? I lava you	Andrew
What did the metric alien say? take me to your liter.	two two girl
What did the mayonnaise say to the knife? Don't spread it onto thick	Dee
What did the math book say to the pencil? I have alot of problems.	isgrant
What did the math book say to the other math book? Boy do I have problems.	Ginger
What did the math book say to the math book? I have a lot of problems	gabby
what did the lettuce say to the tomato ..........look im ahead!! lol hehe	katiebelle
What did the judge say to the skunk? oder in the court,oder in the court	Georgia
What did the horse say to the human ? Nothing horses dont talk	alldayroma
What did the giant do when he stubbed his toe? He called a tow truck!	Crazy Aaron
What did the ghost eat at the party? I scream	kit kat
What did the fish say to the octopus when he had lemonade? answer-don't be such a sour-pus!	candygirl
What did the fast french fry say to the slow french fry?" You need to ketchup with me!"	nicki
What did the egg say to the clown? you crack me up	lucky
What did the duck say when his friend made him laugh? You quack me up	LETY
What did the duck said to the other? I quack you	duckhead
what did the digital clock say to his mom? look mom no hands!hahaha get it.	speeder-65
What did the crocodile say to an aligator? See you later alligator. The alligator said: after awile crocodile	anneka1111
What did the cow say when she was bored. There's nothing to do-o-o-o	Bilesha &Kourtney's Joke
What did the corner say to the other corner. meet me half way. ha.ha.ha.ha	Mrz.carter
What did the computer do at lunch time? Had a byte	Rossy
What did the coffie bean say to the other coffie bean? How have you bean today?	Erica
what did the chef say to the mushroom? You are a fun guy (fungi get it rotfl) lololololololol	pasta head
What did the cake batter say to the baseball glove? A:Batter-up!	crazy lady
what did the boy say when he saw his dog laying in the sun? 'hotdog'	pelos
what did the big telephone say the little telaphone??? you are to young to get engaged	XxholzxX
What did the banana say to the guys joke? You split my sides!	Billy Bob Joe
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn? Aswer:Where's popcorn	awawawawawawawawa
What did the baby corn said to his mother? Ans:Where is my pop corn?	kittyblubber
What did the analog clock say to his mom? Look ma no hands	Slowmo
What did the alien say to the jigsaw puzzle? I come in piece and you come in pieces!	Jman
what did superman's monkey live in? a super cage	natalli24946484
What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film? Someday my prints will come!!!! Hee Hee!! HoHo!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!	Diva *'s 001
What did pooh say to his agent? Hand over the honey!	lou-lou
What did one zombie say to the other? Get a life!	hammy
What did one wall say to the other? Meet you at the corner!	pheeeeeeeeeelickz
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!!	bonz
What did one tree say to the other? Are you stumped on that problem?	shannygirl
What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out	Klever Kimbo
What did one snowman say to the other? "can you smell carrots"!	melissa thornley
What did one penny say to the other? Lets get to gather and make some cents	baby princess angel 13
WHAT DID ONE PENNY SAY TO THE OTHER? LETS GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME CENTS.	MARISSA
What did one math book say to the ot the other? I got more problems then you!	kjp
What did one log say to the other log? I'm burning up!	gold bug
What did one flee say to the other? Do you want to walk or do you want to take the dog?	piemasterzach
What did one eye say to the other? There's something that smells between us.	Daisy
What did one cat say to the other? You look purrrrrfect	unsmart
What did one candle say to the other? lets go out together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	melissa
What did Mona Lisa say when she was hauled into court? I was framed!!!!!!!!!!!!	jk
What did Mona Lisa say when she was hauled into court? I was framed!!!!!!!!!!!!	jk
What did Godzilla say to king kong? It's a small world isn't it?	marsh
what did frosty the snow man name his child when he married a vampire? a:frostbite	cunfused
what did ernie say when bert asked him for some ice-cream? 'sure,bert	brandlea10
what did da policeman say to his tummy? ur under a vest!!!!!!!	lol
What did Cinderella say when her photographs weren't ready? Some day my prints will come.	Alex
What did a tornado say to the other tornado? A.Twist you later!LOL!	Silly
What did 1 skunk say to the other? Let us spray.	Loebeth
what comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? the letter m	ryan and andrew
What comes early in the morning to brighten a mother's day? the school bus	Maarz
What can lift up a plane? A pilot.	Reani
What asks no questions but requires many answers? The doorbell!	twetty
What are two banana peels together called? A pair of slippers	prango
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday because the rest are weekdays.	JAZZWOMAN
What are the one candy that a ghost will never eat? Life Savers	sibertiger
What animal needs to wear a wig? A Bold Eagle	missy
What animal needs to wear a wig? a bald eagle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	T.T.
what animal is better then a counting dog?? a spelling bee!!!	Breezy!!
What animal do you not want to play cards with? A cheet-ah	Rach
Were does the spaghtti dance? At the meatball!	Meatballs
waiter:we have almost everything on the menu sir' Diner: so i see, will you kindly bring me a clean one?'	chihuahua
waiter waiter! There’s a bee in my soup! Of course, it's alphabet soup!	jj
Two muffins were in a oven. The first muffin said: "Boy, its hot in here!" The other Muffin said : AAAAHHHH a talking muffin!!!!"	Heather
Two muffins were in a oven one muffin says to the other muffin "wow it's hot i here" the other muffin replies "AHHHHHHHHH a talking muffin" hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah	lonestar
two guys are driving to disney land they come to a sign that says"disney land left" so... thay went back home!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	JML
tom took a mushroom called henry everywhere with him. one day mary said 'why do u take that mushroom with u every where u go?' tom replied 'cause hes a fungi to be with!'	rachee
Three men walked into a building.You would think one of the men would've seen it!	Lil'missy
There's a red house, a white house, and a blue house. The blue house is on the left. The red house is on the right. Where is the white house? In Washington,DC!!	johnny
there were two muffins sitting in the oven one muffin said "man its hot in here!" the other muffin said"ahhhhh a talking muffin!!!"	anna bannanna
There is this one story house that has pink walls and pink everything. What color would the stairs be? There is no stairs in a one story house	no name
The frog asked the lady bug how many spots do you have? The lady bug replied none I use moisturizer	jelly
The dog went up to the tree and asked why do you have so much bark?	bff
Techer: Where are you from? Student: Kenya. Teacher: Oh what part? Student: All of me.	cutiebear
TEACHER:Max,how many letters are in the alphabet? MAX:18. TEACHER:that is incorrect.there are 26. MAX:there used to be 26, but E.T went home in a U.F.O and the C.I.A went after him.	APPLESOUP
Teacher:Johnny give me two pronouns. Johnny:Who,me Teacher:correct	Blubber nugets
Teacher:"can you name two days of the week begining with the letter "T"? Students: Today and Tomorrow	moon face
Teacher: When I was your age I could name all the presidents in order from 1st to last. Student: Yeah,but when you were my age there had only been 1 or 2.	cameron
Teacher: Today class we will have a halfday this morning. class:yeah!! Teacher: we will have the other half this afternoon?	G-dog
teacher: Name two animals that live in a cold region? student: A polar bear and his wife	bitya
teacher: make a sentence with liver and cheese. student: liver alone cheese mine!	Candy
Teacher: leona did you do your homework? Leona:nope i didn't Teacher:That's it young lady 25 minutes of detention leona:i can't get blamed for something i didn't even do!	Shanial
Teacher: I would like one of you to say a sentence using defeat defence and detail. Student:De feat of de dog went over de fence before de tail.	Del
TEACHER: Go to the map and find North America. student Stephen: here it is. TEACHER: correct. now class who discovered America? CLASS: Stephen	nia123
Teacher: Give me a sentence using the words defeat, defence and detail. Student: De feet of de dog went over de fence before de tail.	coolie
TEACHER: Class we are learning about the history of milk.Turn to page 124 in your book. STUDENT: Can't we just skim it?	Emily
Teacher! Teacher! my sister is only 5 years old and she can spell her name backwards Teacher thats quite remarkable what is her name ANNA	Beksy
Teacher : Sam! When was Rome built? Sam : It was built during night. Teacher : How can you say so? Sam : Well,everyone knows that "Rome was not built in a day"...	Rizwana
take that mask off its not halloween!	pimp
Spell fork 3 times spell pork 3 times what do you use to eat soup? a fork no a spoon	babe
spell and say toast ten times. t o a s t. "toast" keep going. Q: What do you put in a toaster??? A: Wrong!! BREAD!!!	hunny
son: i brought a pair of comauflage trousers the other day father: well why aren't you wearing them? son: because i can't find them	vic and nic
Sir:James, why are you wearing cotton in your ears? James:Beause you always say that when you say something it goes in from one ear and goes out from the other.	Rach
sick person:Doctor Doctor i feel like a branch off a tree. Doctor : try not to snap!	POYSON
Say your writing a bus you counted 20 houses and when u came back you counted 20 houses how many houses are there? 20 because you counted the same 20 houses Hahaehha	Maria
Receptionist; Docter, Docter, there's an invisible man outside waiting for you! Docter; Tell him I can't see him at the moment	Fizzy
Q} What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A} The teacher says "get rid of the gum!" the train says "chew! chew!"	cute
Question:Why did the dog cross the road? Answer:'Cause he wanted to go to the barking lot!!!!!!!!!!	Chia340
question:what time of day can you spell the same backward and forward? answer:noon	hockey rocks
question:what starts witha T ends with a T and is full of T answer:TEAPOT	Dream Gurl
Question:what do you call a snail in charge of a ship? Answer:a snailer	brynny po
question:how do you know you have an elephant under your bed? answer:when your nose hits the ceiling.	poof
Question: why are baseball players so cool? Answer: because they have fans	pancho
Question: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and green? Answer: 3 zebras fighting over a pickle.	shanu
Question: What monster eats the quickest? Answer: a goblin	tattoo
Question: What is worser than a giraffe with sore throat? Answer: A caterpillar with sore feet!	Mia
Question: What do you call a one story house? Answer: A one story house	scampers
Question: What do you call a cow sleeping on the ground??? Answer: Ground beef!!!	Babyhawk
question: what do you call a bear with no teeth? your answer: A GUMMY BEAR!! 🙂	yOuR hOME guRL!
Question: What do whales put on toast? Answer: Blubber ( Instead of butter!)	Quaker
Question: What animal do you must duck under? Answer: A duck	Astevin
Q] what did mars say to the sun? A] you're hot!	nate
Q= what do you get when you cross a dog, a car and a bird? A= a flying-car-pet!	monkey girl
Q; What do you do if your toe falls off? A: You have to call a toe truck	dirty dog
Q:Why was the car so smelly. A:It had to much gas	bugsbunny
Q:Why is there no story about a vampire with a broken tooth? A: There is no point to it!! Ha ha ha	Princess weirdo
Q:Why don't animals eat clowns? A:Because they taste funny.	Rachel
Q:Why doesn't the king and queen play cards? A:Because jokers are wild!!!!!	Froggy
Q:Why do cats love computers? A:Cause it comes with a mouse.	DMP
Q:why did the sheep go to the movies A: to get some snaaahcks	spidermonkey5
Q:Why did the pig take karate? A:To be a pork chop.	tex
Q:Why did the monkey start dancing. A:Because he went bananas!	CrazyMonkey
Q:Why did the man start to chase the birds at the golf range? A:So he can get a birde	CrAzY jAkE
Q:Why did the lady chase her nose? A:Because it was running	Claire Bear
Q:Why did the jelly been go to school? A: Because he wanted to be a smarty.	Pipolo Jive
Q:Why did the dog climb the tree? ANS:Because he wanted to get the bark.	Pips
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go and see the MOOOOOOOvie.	Chi Chi
Q:Why did the boy eat his homework? A:Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.	jay jay
Q:why couldnt the 11 year old see the pirate movie? A:because it was rated argh	chaseroo
Q:When do ghosts play baseball? A:When their spirit is catching	Ralph
Q:whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A:finding a half of worm in your apple!	pink lady
Q:What's a computers favorite board? A: It's mothers!	Carissa
Q:what"s big gray and protects you from the rain? A:An unbellaphant	hottie
Q:What type of lizard do you find in the Sydney Opera House? A:The lizard of OZ!	Samio
Q:What starts with an E and ends with an E? A:An Envolope	grandma
Q:What Kind of Dogs can Jump Higher Than A Building? A: Any Dog -A Building Can't Jump.	honeyface
Q:What is the biggest ant in the world? A:Antartica!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Avi
Q:what is it called wene a ghost uses the restroom? A: BOO BOO	shorty
Q:What is a witches favorite part in school? A:Spelling LOL!!!	kristy
Q:What is a snake's favorite subject? A:Hisstory	Adhu
Q:WHAT IS A HORSES FAVOURITE PROGRAMME A:NEIGHBOURS	jess
Q:WHAT IS A CATS' FAVOURITE COLOUR? A: PURRRRRRRRRRPLE	shishi
Q:What is a cat's favourite part of the computer? A:The mouse!	Gudiya
Q:What has five fingers but is not a hand? A:A glove!	Danielle:)
Q:WHAT DOES A MUMMY SING IN THE SHOWER? A:A RAP	J-DOG
Q:What do you call a well balenced meal? A hamburger in each hand.	Court
Q:What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back. A:a stick	yoda
Q:What do the FBI people do when a tornado comes? A:Go under cover	lady
Q:What do books carry with them when they dont have a phone? A:They carry pagers.	karen
Q:What did the spider say the fly came to its web? A:Welcome to my website!	mimi
Q:what did the math teacher make for snack A: pie	funny Bunny
Q:What did the lifegaurd name his daughter? A:Sandy	Bryana
Q:what did the hot dog when it won the race? A:I'M THE WEENER (WINNER)	cheychey
Q:What did the bird say on Valentines Day? A: Your my treeheart.	smile
Q:What did pirate see the movie? A:Because it was rated (a)R!	FROGGIELUV!!!!!!!!!
Q:WHAT CAN YOU SERVE BUT NEVER EAT A:A VOLLEY BALL	CECE
Q:What bird can you write with? A:A PENguin. lol	penguin gal
Q:There are 13 copycats and 1 dives in a pool, how many are left? A:none.	piolina
Q:If it takes 2 men,2 hours to dig a hole,how long does it take 1 man to dig a half a hole? A:You can't dig half a hole.Ha! Ha!	Cow
Q:How much fun can you have doing arithmetic? A:Sum Fun	amoos
Q:How Many Seconds Are In A Year? A:12 Jan.2nd Feb.2nd March,2nd........	K-Mak
Q:how does a tree count? A:like this one two tree	Nocktowl
Q:How do you make a fruit punch? A:Give it boxing lessons.	Kyran
Q:How did the teacher know Jessica was going to be an astronuat when she grew up? A: She took up so much space in school	Syd
Q:Have you heard the joke about the butter. A:I can't tell,you will spread it	KK
Q: Why did the kid put hay under his bed? A: To feed his nightmare!	Lavender10
Q:"Waiter why is my food flat?" A:"because when you ordered it you told me to step on it."	lilash
Q: Why wouldn't the crayfish share his toys? A: Becuase he was a little shellfish!	sharon
Q: Why would Snow White make a good judge? A: Because she was the fairest of them all!	katty
Q: why was the shoe talking? A: because it had a tongue	maceo
Q: Why was the mother flea mad? A: All her children went to the dogs.	krissy811
Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had so many problems.	coolbmg
Q: why was the leaf crying? A: because it fell	kenzie
Q: why was the duck mad? A: because he couldnt get his bill out of the mail.	nana
Q: Why was the coach yelling at the operator? A: He wanted his Quarter back, hee hee!	Dany
Q: Why was the boy staring at the car's raido? A: He wanted to see a car-toon	kbs
Q: Why was the ant so confused? A: Because all of its uncles were ants.	Sk8r Gurl
Q: Why was "Math" upset with English? A: Because English was trying to check Math's spelling.	MATH TEACHER
Q: Why shouldn't you tell a joke to an egg? A: Because they will crack up!!	Manny
Q: WHY IS THE MONKEY ACTING SO CRAZY? A: BECAUSE HE WENT BANANAS.	JAMOO=JAM=JULIA
Q: Why is the math book so grunpy? A: Because it has to many problems.	julian
Q: Why is the city of Ohio different? A: Because it"s high in the middle and round at both ends.	ping
q: why dosen"t a turkey eat much? a: because he is always stuffed!	livee mae
Q: Why don't elephants take a holiday? A: They don't like packing their trunks	Charlotte
Q: Why does a cat remind you of christmas? A: Because of his sandie claws.	Christie
Q: Why do they have fences on cemataries? A: Because people are DYING to get in.	Megsters (u know who I am) : )
Q: Why do fish swim in saltwater? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze	Wesley
Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because their horns don't work !	Anonomus
Q: Why do birds fly south? A: Because it was to far to walk	shelbyroo
Q: Why didn't the bike finish the race? A: Because it was two tired!	PJ age6
Q: Why didn"t the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie? A: It was rated ARRRRR!	BOBBY
Q: Why didin't the coach trust his team??? A: Because there were to many sneakers in the lockerroom!!!!	Lil k.c
Q: Why did they have to put a fence around the graveyard? A: Because people were dying to get in!	GG
Q: Why did the tree cross the road? A: Because he wanted to leaf.	dragon
Q: Why did the tomato smush it self? A: Beacuse his dad said ketchup.	MR.GIGGLES
Q: Why did the tomato blush? A: It saw the salad dressing!	Bob-omb
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? A: Because she had bright children!!!!	J.C.
Q: Why did the teacher have to get glasses? A: Because she could't control her pupils!!!	sweet-e-pie
Q: Why did the spider go on the computer? A: To set up a web.	Ak
Q: why did the salesman go up the elevator? A: he wanted to get a raise.	dad's_gurl
Q: Why did the police go to the baseball field? A: Because someone was stealing a base.	Air Bear
Q: Why did the pig get kicked off the football team? A: Because he always hoged the ball.	Sponkey
Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because he was framed!	Lulu
Q: why did the orange run half way down the hill? A: it ran out of juice	tesha t
Q: Why did the moon fall down? A: There where to many holes	cathy
Q: Why did the lady throw the head of lettuce out the window? A: Because she wanted a tossed salad.	Katie
Q: why did the ketchup cross the road? A: because he had to ketch up with the mustard	tiffy
Q: Why did the jelly roll? A: It saw the apple turn over	Didi
Q: Why did the horse pass the note to the cow?? A: Because she was mootiful!	T-Bone
Q: Why did the girl tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.	cookie girl
Q: Why did the girl name her horse Ink? A: It kept running out of the pen!	Emi
Q: why did the girl go outside with her purse open? A: To see if there was any change in the weather.	saphire
Q: Why did the ghost go up the elervator?? A: He wanted to raise his spirits.	ping
Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade? A: Because he didn't want to be a HotDog.	Mr. T
Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: To get to the "barking" lot!	tasha
Q: Why did the docter cross the patient room? A: Becuse she didnt want to get a shot.	tony
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was the chickens day off! haha you like that don't ya. Well i thought u would ya know because everyone just loves my jokes!	moula moula
Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: To get to the udder side.	Drew
Q: why did the computer go to the doctor? A: because he has virus!	patty
Q: Why did the caveboys and cavegirls have a easier time in school? A: Because there was no history to study	Minny Girl
Q: Why did the cat tickle the mouse before he ate him? A: He wanted a happy meal	JSHJ
Q: why did the car have a stomach ache??? A: Because he had too much gas.	Landon
Q: Why did the boy take a pencil to bed? A: to draw the curtains!	bullet
Q: Why did the boy put the reportcard over his head? A: He wanted to get higher grades	matt
Q: Why did the bee go home? A: To go get his honey	jaybug
Q: Why did the bee get married? A: Because he found his honey	opedy
Q: WHY DID THE BEAR EAT THE TIGHTROPE WALKER? A: HE WANTED A WELL BALANCED MEAL.	soccerstar
Q: Why did mickey look up in space? A: To find pluto his dog. Q: Who was the first spy who went under water? A: James Pond	jj the duck
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards??? A: Because the Captain was standing on the deck . HE HE HA HA	Pink Shadow / KaTe
Q: Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield? A: There's to many ears!!	chicken legs
Q: Why can't a dalmation dog hide from it's mom? A: Because it's spotted haahaaa	hanin and minas
Q: Why are kings babys? A: Because there always sitting in a high chair	tyler
Q: Why are hair dressers good drivers? A: They know all the good short cuts!	poo
Q: Why are elephants large,grey,and wrinkly??? A: Because if they were small,white,and smooth,they would be asprin!	Court
Q: Why are chickens such good workers? A: Because they work around the cluck.	Taylor
Q: Why are barbers such good drivers? A: Because they know all the shortcuts!!!!	dolphin09
Q: who won the skeleton spelling bee? A: No Body!	megs
Q: Who is santa's wife??? A: Mary christmas	delter
Q: Which weighs more? a pound of feathers or a pound of lead. A: They both weigh the same!(a pound)	funny
Q: Where would you find your lost dog? A: In The-Lost-And-Hound	duty
Q: Where is a pirates favorite place to eat? A: Arrrrrrrrby"s	Robby Rex
Q: Where does the coumputer go to dance? A: The disc o.	abc...
Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly? A: in the hare force.	k.k.
Q: Where does a polar bear keep his money? A: in a snowbank!	Hamsterman
Q: Where does a cow like to go to eat? A: MooDonalds (McDonalds)	cutiepie10
Q: Where does a computer take it's sick pets? A: To the intervet	eggcorn
Q: where do you get dumb gum from. A:A dumb ball machine.	spo
Q: Where do you always rake the leaves? A: the ground	fuzzo
Q: Where do snowmen keep there money? A: In a snow bank!	fattony
q: where do monsters like to swim? A: in lake erie	squirt
Q: Where do ghosts go to live? A: Where everyone else lives, the living room!	cassie
Q: where do fishes sleep? A: on a water bed	donovanantoniojarman
Q: Where do fish put their money? A: In river banks!	Coco roco
Q: WHERE DO COMPUTERS GO TO DANCE? A: THE DISK-O	miss priss
Q: Where do chickens live? A: In Ken-clucky.	Chris
Q: Where did the fish go when he was sick? A: to the docks	Kee
Q: Where did the cow take his date? A: To the Mooooooovies!	JessLynn92
Q: Where did the boat go when he was sick? A: The doc	froot loop
Q: Where did dracula BUY HIS PENCILS? A: PENCIL-VANIA	kaje
Q: When there is a hole in a pumpkin what do you fix it up with? A: A pumpkin patch.	maxy m.
Q: When is a potato not Irsh? A: When it's a french fry	me
Q: When is a door not a door? A: When it's ajar.	Max S. age 9
Q: When is a car not a car A: When it turns into a driveway	sari
Q: Whats the longest word? A: Smile because it has a mile in it.	Ash
Q: Whats a frog's favorite drink? A: A diet croak!	iceerz zack ziomek
Q: Whats a dogs favorite instrument? A: A TromBONE	Lindsay
Q: What's the difference between a football and a duck? A: You'll find one in a huddle, and the other in a puddle.	Sunshine
Q: What's green, has bumps, and plays football? A: The Green Bay Pickles	Mr. B
Q: What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A: A zebra with a drumkit.	jay
Q: What's baby Dil's favorite ride??? A: The strollercoaster	Alissa
Q: What's a witches favorite asignment? A: Spelling	Frankie
Q: What's a camel with no humps? A: A horse of course	Kangarroooo18
Q: What was the first bus to cross the ocean? A: Columbus.	buck
Q: What was the 1st animal in space? A: The cow that jumped over the moon	bubba
Q: What vehicle would a cow drive? A: A milk truck!!!	Teacup
Q: What time should a person go at the dentist? A: At TOOTH-THIRTY!!!	sweetangel_99
Q: What starts with P, and ends with the letter E? A: A post office.	Angle
Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter? A: An envelope.	Nick
Q: What room is a bear's favorite room? A: The den!	Liz
Q: What radio is a pig most afraid of???? A: a HAMradio	bob
Q: What letter of the alphabet can you eat? A: A brown-E	Tashia
Q: What kind of waves wash up on a small beach? A: microwaves	Joey
Q: What kind of rings do fruits where when they are getting married?? A: onion rings	Angel
Q: What kind of pets do computers like? A: A mouse	jon jon
Q: What kind of pet lives on the floor? A: A carpet	andy
Q: What kind of music does bedrock listen to? A: Bedrock and roll	Bo Bo Man
Q: What kind of music do mummy's like? A: Wrap!	jazzy
Q: What kind of museums do cows go to? A: Mooseums	YBOY
Q: What kind of milk do you get from a sunburned cow? A: strawberry milk	Cash
Q: what kind of milk do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled	hottie
Q: What kind of key dosen't open a door? A: a mon-key	syd
Q: What kind of cheese isn't yours? A: nacho chesse	Emmi
Q: What kind of boats do mosquitoes like best? A: Blood vessels!	Tiana
Q: What kind of bird is always sad? A: A bluebird.	KCee
Q: What kind of animal should you never play cards with A: A Cheetah!!!!:)	cuty pie 427
Q: What kind of a joke does a crow like? A: Corny ones	austin
Q: What is the same between a farmers wagon and a dogs tail? A: The tails a wagon	Ash
Q: What is the name of the candy that is never on time? A: Choco-LATE	magneto
Q: What is the highest building? A: a library, because it has alot of stories. get it?!	tiffany
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A: You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish	Beth Ann
Q: What is the differance between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly but a fly can"t bird.	Popcorn
Q: What is the best thing to take in the desert? A: A thirst-aid kit.	aot
Q: WHAT IS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE? A: THE LETTER H.	ddduuutttyyy
Q: WHAT IS GHOST'S FAVOURITE FOOD? A: SPOOKGETTI!	S- ANGEL~
Q: What is full of holes, but holds water? A: ....A sponge	Cricket
Q: What is brown and smells like chocolate pudding A: chocolate pudding	gupu
Q: What is black and white and read all over? A: A newspaper	your_gurl
Q: What is a vampires favorite sport A: batmintan	robert eric anthony hennick of the joke
Q: What is a skeletons favorite road? A: Dead end!!!	Big eye (Andrea)
Q: What is a sharks favorite snack? A: Fish and ships	emer
Q: What is a mummys favorite music? A: Rap Music	Jack
Q: What is a monster's favorite drink? A: ghoul-aid!	Rajavi
Q: what is a fisherman's favorite pitch? A: A sinker	beaver cleaver
Q: what is a catipiller afraid of? A: A dogapiller (DOG)	nins
Q: What is a bears favorite soda. A: Coca Koala	Mohawk
Q: What is a bears favorite phone? A: a blackberry!	lol girl
Q: What has a head, a tail, and no body? A: A coin!	quackster
Q: What has a head at night and no head at day? A: a pillow	p
Q: What has 4 "i"s but cannot see? A: Missisipi	Ange
Q: What has 2 spines and millions of ribs? A: Railroad track	doglover
Q: What happens when a clock gets mad? A: It gets ticked off!	DJPhatboi
Q: What happened to the cat that ate a ball of yarn? A: It had mittens!	Zebedee
Q: What goes up and never comes down? A: Your age	frogwings
Q: What flower is between the nose and the chin? A: Tulip	tntonytiger
Q: What drinks pop and sings at the same time? A: A pop singer	rachel age 9
Q: What does one peanut say to another peanut? A: You crack me up	Hannah banana
Q: What does every skeleton say before meals? A: Bone-appetite!	A-a
Q: What does a wizzard's cat drink just before it goes to bed? A: A sorcerer of milk	kangarrooooo18
Q: What does a house wear? A: Address	Brad
Q: What does a GINGER-BREAD MAN use when he breaks his leg? A: A CANDY CANE !!!!!	ice-crean sunday
Q: What does a cow say to a human? A: When is it going to be moonday?	uncle bob
Q: What does a cat read? A: cat-alogs	GDream4
Q: What do you lose every time you stand up? A: Your lap	hebs
Q: What do you have year round but can only see in the winter? A: Your breath	hebs
Q: What do you have to pay to go to school? A: Attention	Sarah
Q: What do you give a hungry tiger?? A: Anything it wants!	Melissa
Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus and a hungry shark? A: An octagon!!!	Wally
Q: what do you get when you cross a witch with sand? A: A sandwitch	brittthehit
Q: what do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcipine? A: a slow poke	ponygal
Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a peach? A: A peach gobbler(cobbler)	team krunch
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowstorm and a cornfeild? A: cornflakes	Allie
Q: What do you get when you cross a pair of pants that are smart? A: Smarty Pants. Hee, Hee.	Dollywood
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog, a bird, and a car? A: A flying carpet	Lisee
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? A: Jurassic Pork!	ponygal
Q: What do you do with a blue whale? A: Cheer it up	riddler
Q: What do you do when an elephant breaks his toe? A: You call the toetruck	what
Q: What do you call wood that has nothing to do? A: Board!	Manny
Q: What do you call two witchs that live together? A: Broom mates	Kay
Q: What do you call two banana peels? A: a pair of slippers	nicky. d
Q: What do you call a snail on a ship? A: A snailor!!	C-DOG
Q: What do you call a snail on a ship? A: A snailor	Jordy
Q: What do you call a sleeping Dinousour? A: A Dinousnoras	nicky. d
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud	Princess 😀
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud	jacko
Q: What do you call a sad strawberry? A:a Blue berry!	sad berry
Q: What do you call a sad berry? A: A blue [sad] berry.	Uyenny the Vu
Q: What do you call a rich duck? A: lucky ducky	natmo 🙂
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A POLAR BEAR IN THE JUNGLE? A: LOST	beaver
Q: What do you call a polar bear in Africa? A: Lost	Dany
Q: What do you call a mermaid in the artic ocean? A: BURR!maid	candy
Q: What do you call a grouchy hamburger? A: A crabby patty!!!!!!!!!!!	BRAT
Q: what do you call a grizzly bear in the rain? A: Drizzly Bear!	Natalie Marin
Q: What do you call a dog that sits in front of a fire? A: A hotdog.	Chey
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks? A: A box of quackers.	dodo
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef	megan
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW ON THE FLOOR? A: GROUND BEEF	nAT
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAT WHITH STRIPES? A: LION	zar
Q: what do you call a cat that went to red cross school? A: a first aid kit	jesus girl
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A: A stick	Wheetius
Q: What do whales spread on their toast? A: Jellyfish	KLC
Q: WHAT DO U GET WHEN U CROSS A CENTIPEDE AND A PAROT? A: A WALKIE TALKIE!!!	French Fry [Ashley]
Q: What do hawks eat for dessert? A: Mice Cream	pooh
Q: What do ghost eat? A: BOO-LONEY	SHEADA
Q: What do cats eat? A: Catfish!	coolwill01
Q: What do birds eat for breakfast?? A: Tweet-bix	ping
Q: What did the traffic light say to the zebra? A: Close your eyes im changing	Vinni
Q: What did the teddybear say when she was offered dessert? A: No thanks. I'm stuffed.	daredevil
Q: What did the star say to the little star? A: Your to young to be out at night.	blue
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me we'll go places.	lil'z
Q: What did the ranch say to the salad? A: cover me I"m dressing!	Sissy
Q: What did the plate say to the other plate? A: Lunch is on Me!	scotty
Q: What did the pig do after school?? A: hamwork !!!!!	joy
Q: What did the pancake say to the syrup? A: We're in a sticky situation, pal!	sweet pea
Q: what did the pacific ocean say to the atlantic ocean?????? A: nothing ,he just waved	jazzy
Q: What did the mother buffalo say to her son that was going to college??? A: Bison	Katie
Q: What did the magnet say to the second magnet? A: "You're very attractive.	aot
Q: What did the little acorn say when he grew up? A: Geometry (gee I'm a tree)	sweet pea
Q: What did the lions say before they ate dinner A: Let us prey	xszsimszzx
Q: What did the lawyer name her daughter? A: Sue!	Bree
Q: What did the lamp say to the pen? A: click me on	skouter
Q: What did the invisible man say to his girlfriend? A: "Baby, you're outta sight."	aot
Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty.	TEE TEE
Q: What did the glue say to the stamp? A: STICK WITH ME, WE'LL GO PLACES{LAME RIGHT? SO WHAT!!!!!!!!}	Princess
Q: What did the ghost say to the panda bear? A: BamBOO!	spaggetti and meatballs
Q: What did the duck want with his soup? A: Quakers	its me
Q: What did the Crayon call her son? A: Art	MINNIE MOUSE
Q: WHAT DID THE CAPET SAY TO THE FLOOR? A: HUSH I HAVE YOU COVERED	kel
Q: What Did the Bug Say When He Hit the Winshield? A: I would do that again but I don't have the guts	Rattlesnake
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don't worry Ive got you covered!	DevonSlapBill
Q: What did the "sun" say to the moon? A: Don't you think I look "HOT"!	Manny
Q: What did shaggy say when he couldn't find scooby doo? A: scooby dooby doo where r u we have some mysteries to solve	smart not!!!!!
Q: What did santa use when he twisted his ankel? A: A candy cane	O'lela
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? A: Meet you at the corner	randy
Q: What did one eye say to the other? A: Something stinks in between us!	joker
Q: What did one candle say to the other candle? A: Are you going out tonight?	KaTe
Q: What did Ernie say to Bert when he wanted some ice cream? A: Sure Bert (sherbert)	pebbles
Q: What can you hold in your right hand but not your left hand? A: Your LEFT elbow	Bean Head
Q: WHAT ARE TREES FAIVERET DRINK? A: ROOTBEER.	paige
Q: What always ends evreything? A: "G"	EmmyEm66
Q: Were did the sheep get her hair cut? A: At the Baaaaaaaaarbbbbber shop	Nikki
Q: The cowboy left on friday, spent 3 days & came back on friday. how can that be? A: his horse is named friday.	whitgirl
Q: should i tell you the story of the lemon? a: I am sorry but its too sour for you feelings.	bubblegum boy
Q: Should I tell you the story of the body snatchers? A: No, I'd better not you might get carried away	Bubblegum cuddlebun
Q: Railroad crossing railroad cars, can you spell that without any R's? A: T-H-A-T	shelb
Q: On Valentine's Day what did the two volcanos say to each other? A: I LAVA YOU! Ha,Ha,Ha!	Rupert
Q: In which garden doesn`t flowers grow? A: In a Kindergarden	jas girl
Q: If you had only one match which thing would you light first? A wood burrning stove, Kerasein Lamp,or an oil burrning stove? A: The match	Bradilydumbduck
Q: If you cross a vampire with snow, what do you get? A: Frostbite!	piggygrl0123
Q: If i had $50 and you gave me $20 what would I have? A: $50 because you wouldn't give me $20	mets
Q: IF APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS WHAT DO MAY FLOWERS BRING? A: THE PILGRIMS	JESSICA
Q: How many seconds are in a year? A: 12 starting with the second of January.	Singing Shat
Q: How is a joke so much like a pencil? A: Because if it dont have a piont its useless.	dj
Q: How is 2+2=5 and your left hand alike? A: They both aren't right.	Lizzy
Q: How does a horse greet his neighbor? A: Howdy naaaabor	mel
Q: How do your teeth stay together? A: TOOTHPASTE	carbear
Q: How do you save a hippo drowning in hot cocoa? A: Throw in a marshmallow	Laura Acorn
Q: How do you get out of a house with a mirror and a table? A: Look in the mirror, see what you saw.take saw, saw table in half.Two halves make a hole.Climb trough hole	~movie_star*
Q: HOW DO YOU FIX A TUBA? A: WITH TUBA GLUE!	cute
Q: how do you fix a rubber duck A: duck tape	TWIFF
Q: How do you count a herd of cows? A: With a cowculater.	Kris
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on it! Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A: Tame way.....unique up on it!	Daniel
Q: How do the famers move there cows? A: A moo-ving van.	JB
Q: How can you communicate with a fish? A: Drop it a line	Syaf
Q: Do mummies like being mummies? A: Of corpse! Of corpse!	soccer girl
Q: Can you drop a full glass but not spill any water? A: Yes if the glass is filled with milk!!!	carecat
Q: A butcher is 5 foot 2 inch what does he weigh? A: meat	kim
Q.Wich president was the biggest ham? A. Abrahham Lincon of course	J rod
Q.Why was the lamp flunking his classes? A.He wasn't very bright.	Ry
Q.why was the elephant afraid of the computer A.because of the mouse	babyballar4life
Q.Why was the Egyption boy confused? A.Because his daddy was a mummy!	Cutie
Q.Why was the baby ant confused? A.Because all his uncles are ants.	Espier
Q.Why was Rita carrying a ladder? A.Because she was going to high school!	becky
Q.Why do birds fly south for the winter? A. Because it's too far to walk.	mike mike mcc
Q.Why do bears get grounded? Because they growled at their mothers!	I'm bananas
Q.Why did the vampire go to the doctors. A.because he needed a blood test. ?	katey
Q.Why did the tiger lose the race? A."cuz the other guy was a "cheetah"{cheater}	Nikki
Q.Why did the teacher jump in to the lake? A.Because she wanted to test the water.	Betsy
Q.Why did the robber wear blue gloves? A. cause he didn't want to get caught red handed.	Krissy
Q.why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair? A.so she could rock and roll!	kitkat
Q.Why did the granny put rollar skates on her rocking chair? A.Because she wanted to rock and roll!	jackson.rose
Q.which is the longest bus in the world? A. Syllabus!!!!!!!!!	saturn
Q.Where does a wasp go when it gets hurt? A.The waspital.	footballgirlk
Q.Where do books sleep? A.Under their covers.	Ry
Q.Where did the snowman keep his savings? A.In a snow bank.	R
Q.When is the best day to go to the beach? A. Sun-day.	lilly
Q.When do you go on red and stop on green? A.When you're eating a watermelon!	t
Q.Whats the difference between a fly and a bird. A.a bird can fly but a fly can't bird.	Bree
Q.What would you rather have an old ten dollar bill or a new one? A.a old ten is more than a new one dollar bill.	boshe dogg
Q.what kind of beans are humans? A.human beans	mike jones
Q.What has wheels and a trunk but no engine? A.An elephant on roller blades.	Ry
Q.What has 4 wheels and flies? A.A garbage truck	EE
Q.What does a rat sound like in tap shoes A.rat a tat tat	Ray
Q.WHAT DO YOU FIND UP A CLEAN NOSE? A: FINGERPRINTS	CHEESE
Q.What do you find in the middle of Nowhere? A.The letter H.	Ry
Q.What do you call two hands stuck to gether .A Pom Pom	moo
Q.What do you call the musicial part of a turkey? A.The Drumstick.	birdie
Q.What do you call something red and goes up and down A. A tomato in an elevator	shani
Q.What do you call a worm in a apple. A.A teachers pet	nemo
Q.what do you call a mushroom at a party? A.fun-guy	BO BO
Q.what do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye A.do-you-think-he-saw-us	jh
Q.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A.A gummy bear	articuno
Q.What do u call when a Vampire bites a Snowman? A.Frostbite	Courtney Stagg
Q.What did the waiter learn when he joined the navy? A.How to take orders!!!	tedddymonster
Q.What did the sheep say to the other? A. I'm maaaad at you	cool owl
Q.What did the cook name his son? A.Stu.	Ry
Q.What did the cement say to the earthquake? A.You crack me up with your jokes	Jessie
Q.What did one eye say to the other. A.Something between us smells.	T-Baby
Q.what did king tut say when he was scard? A.i want my mummie!	lisa
Q.what as 4 wheels and flies A. a garbge truck	elizabeth
Q.The Blue House is in the left the red house is in right were is the white house A. In Washinton D.C.	Funny Banas
Q.How does an egg run? A.It scrambles!!!!	hunter1243
Q.Did you hear about the unlucky sailor? First he was shipwrecked then he was rescued by the Titanic.	hawk
Q. why were the baby strawberries upset? A. because their mum and dad were in a jam.	ezza
Q. Why was the letter "E" left back? A. Because it was always in bed and never in school.	Manny
Q. Why was the calendar upset? A. Because it didn't have a date.	Manny
Q. Why does E.T. have such big eyes? A. you would too,if you saw his phone bill	puffy hair
Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? A. Cause he didn't have no body to go with.	Jacob and Jackie
Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. It saw the salad dressing!	S.P&A.T
Q. why did the lion spit out the clown? A. because he tasted funny.	Dian
Q. why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours A. so he could hide in the crayon box	doll
Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the street? A. To get to Jurassic Park!!	Katie(Pigglefish)
Q. Why did the catus cross the road? A. Because it was stuck to the chicken.	Nicky M.
Q. Why did the butler bring a deck of cards in the hall A. He wanted to deck the halls	FOXY
Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A. To get a tweetment.	S.P&A.T
Q. Why did the bee go to the doctor? A. Because he had hives.	scampers
Q. Why did the bee get married? A. Because he found his honey.	tigger
Q. Why did the basketball player go to the dentist? A. because he wanted to get more shots.	brint
Q. Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone? A. He was all tied up !	Blubber
Q. Why couldn't the flower ride its bike? A. Because his pedals fell off	scampers
Q. Who has the most dangerous job in Trannsyilvannia? A. Dracula's dentist.	Britt
Q. Who does a football coach go fishing with? A. His tackle	patrick parker
Q. Which is the longest rope in the world? A. It's Europe!!!!!!!!!!!!	Saturn
Q. Where is a cow's favorite place to be? A. A MOO-sment park!!	Laura (Monkey)
Q. Where do the cows go on vacation? A. To the movies.	Ruby
Q. where did the teacher leave her keys? A: on the computer	tabby
Q. what time is it when a ghost comes to dinner? A. Time to go!	lid
Q. What runs around your backyard but never moves? A. The fence	strawberri
Q. What runs around the garden without moving? A. A fence	ems
q. What plays piano keys? Monkeys!	dj
Q. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes? A. A nervous shipwreck!	ollie
Q. What kind of stick do you use for your lips? A. A Chapstick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	sunrise
Q. What kind of a shark can build a house? A. A hammerhead	Kolton
Q. What is the smallest room? A. a mushroom	greensom
Q. What is the difference between a pig and a squirrel? One eats corn and one eats acorn!!!!!	Ann
Q. What is the difference between a fly and a bird? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.	Manny
Q. what is the differece between "here" and "there". A. The letter "t"	Bean Head
Q. What is the best way to catch a fish? A. Have someone throw it at you.	123a
Q. What is round on both sides and says hi in the middle? A. Ohio.	Manny
Q. What is red, black and white all over. A. A zebra with the chichen pox.	K.C
Q. What is Mickey Mouse's favorite car to drive? A. A Minnie Van!	Laura (monkey)
Q. What is Donald Ducks Favorite Tv show? A. The Duck-U-Mentaries	jokester
Q. What is a volcano? A. A Mountain with hiccups	Tristin
Q. what has two eyes[i] and sees[seas] all around? A. Hawaii	WIZARD GIRL
Q. what has two banks but no money? A. a river.	matt
Q. What has four legs but can't walk? A. a chair!!!!!!!!!!!	CASSY!X!X!X!X!
Q. What has 18 legs and caches flies? A. A baseball team.	LDog
Q. What goes up but never comes down? A: Your age! 🙂	whatever!
Q. What goes up and never comes down? A. Your Age	Missy
Q. What does one eye say to the other eye? A. Between you and me something smells.	Asia
Q. What does a ghost wash his hair with? A. Shamboo	Jay-Jay
Q. What does a bee say when it flies backwards? A. Zzzb. Zzzb. Zzzb.	Kalibug
Q. What do you get when you cross dracula and a snowman? A. frostbite	Jen
Q. What do you get when you cross an hippo with a black bird? A. A lot of broken telephone poles.	Spitz(Stephanie)
Q. What do you get from nervous cows. A.Milkshake	bc100
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled milk.	S.P&A.T
Q. What do you catch but not throw? A. A cold.	Vart
Q. what do you call two banna peals A. slippers	dawg
Q. What do you call an annoying vampire? A. A PAIN IN THE NECK	Bean Head
Q. What do you call a sheep that is covered in chocolate? A. A Hershey baaaaaar!	Hana
Q. what do you call a banana doing a split? A. A banana split	phil
Q. What do you call a 3 headed monster with 9 legs, 1 arm , 55 fingers and no ears? A. any-thing you want it can't hear u!	Shelly
Q. What do bunnies like to play? A. hop scotch	ABC
Q. What do bats call the bathroom? A.the batroom	dwinkly finkly
Q. what did the tub say to the water? A. run to me i'll hold you.	smiley
Q. What did the monster say to the bug? A. Nothing, monsters are not real!	Katie (Pigglefish)
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter. A. Sue	Feather
Q. what did the hamburger name has little girl? A. patty	Rugrat
Q. WHAT DID THE GHOST HAVE FOR HIS DINNER????????? A.SPOOOOGHETTI !!!!!!!!!!	22222 CAT 222222
Q. What did the cloud say to the sun? A. I'm a little under the weather!	blubber nugets
Q. What did the bowling ball say to the pin? A. Lets roll	cisco dood
Q. What did the boss say to the electrcian when he was late? A. Wire you insulate?	krisy
Q. What did the baseball player say when he hit a homerun? A. See you later ball, I have to run home!	JT
Q. what did the armless man say to the robber? A. you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man would you?	jimmy
Q. What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas? A. "It is Christmas, Eve."	scampers
Q. What day is worst for the chickens? A. Fry-day.	Manny
Q. what can you hold without your hands? A. Your breath!	vezza
Q. If a rooster layed an egg on the top of a roof, which way would it roll? A. roosters don't lay eggs silly	Bambie
Q. If a butcher is six feet two inches tall, what do you think he weighs? A. Meat	Bean Head
Q. How is 2+2=5 and your left hand alike? A. They both aren't right.	Feather
Q. How does a cow do math? A.It uses a COWculater	Feather
Q. How do you make soup gold? A. Put in 14 carrots!(Karrots)	Funny
Q. How do you make fruit punch? A. Give it boxing lessons!	crystal & kristy
Q. How do you catch a squirrel? A. Climb up a tree and act like a nut	Ashley
Q. How did the skunk call home? A. On his smellurlar phone!	blue
Q. A wasp got hurt where did it go? A. The waspital	tanya
Q-why did the belt go to jail A-because it held up a pair of pants	fishy frog
Q-what do you find in kids noses? A-finger prints!	baby girl
Q)why dont you do homework in the jungle? A)because if you add 4+4 you get ATE!!! hahaha!!!	skyress14
Q)what did the captin of the sub say to the first mate? A)there's something fishy out there.	class clown
Q) why did the themoneter go to college` a) to get a degree	Nellie
Q) why did Chris put his electric guitar in the freezer? A) Coz he loved cool music!	Lizz the showbizz
Q What is broken in your body when you go to Dr.Funny? A Funny bone	Cheetah
Q what do you call two hands stuck together A pom pom	Emily
Q What do you call a dog with no legs? A you can call him all you want he still will not come to you	fo fo
Q .what do u call a alligator who lives in a alley. A. a alleygator	lexie
pupil:miss would you shout at me for something i didn't do teacher:no, why? pupil:because i didn't do my homework.	fairy
Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat!	wako
Person 1: Did you hear the one about the pencil? Person 2: No. How does it go? Person 1: Oh, nevermind. It"s pointless!	NEN
Person1,Did you hear the joke about the hole? person2,No. person1,Good. It was to deep for you.	Trey
patient:doctor doctor i feel like a pair of curtains. doctor:well pull your self together then	Amy
patient:doctor doctor i feel like a cowboy! doctor: how long have you been feeling like this? patient: about a yeeeeehhhhhhaaaaaa	demidob
Patient:Docter Docter! I keep getting this pain in my throat after i drink hot chocolete! Docter: Way don't you try taking out the spoon	Smiley Girl
Patient: Doctor,Doctor I think i'm a pack of cards! Doctor: I'll deal with you later!	cool18 & cool20
Patient: Doctor,Doctor a crocodile bit my toe! Dotor: When did this happen? Patient: When it bit me!	scardycat
Patient: doctor, doctor, I have 59 seconds to live! Doctor: I'll be with you in a minute	winker
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I just ate a pen Doctor: Well, sit down and write your name	Edison
passenger: "which end of the car do I get off?". conductor: "either one. it stops at both ends."	joel
One night a boy was sleeping and dreaming about a marshmallow and when he woke up his pillow was gone!!!!	Bubbles
Ok, your in a race and a kid runs faster than you. What do you do? Drink catch up!!!!!! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!	kyliy
My mom thinks that I'm very bright. That is why she always calls me son.	ET
music teacher:What is a pizzicato? student:Pizza for cats.	crystal
Money isn’t everything. There’s Also VISA, MasterCard and Credit Cards.	Mandy
mommy monster: I took my son to the zoo yesterday second monster: did they keep him?? hahaha	monsters
mom: Sam stop pulling my hair. Sam: I want my gum back!!	gum
Molly: What runs all around a soccer field but never moves? Kirsten: I don't know what? Molly: A fence!	Munky
Mike: Mrs.Applebee,would I get in trouble for something I didnt do? Teaher: Of course not Mike. Mike:Good,Cause I didnt do my homework.	nerdyprep
Mike: Do you beleive in love at first sight? Sally: Not from where I'm standing.	cheese
me: hey sister mom wants you to help fix dinner. sister: why is it broken?	sidthekid
Max:I'm sorry my son can't come to school. Secertary:Who is this? Max:This is my mom.	JRB
Mary: This is a cool baseball game. Tom:I'm Hot Tom:Lets go by Jim Tom: He is a big fan!!!!!!!!	Hana
Mary's mother has 4 kids. They are called North, South, and East. What is the other childs name? Mary	Sharon
Mark: Teacher how do you spell rat. Teacher: R-A-T. Mark: No, how do you spell rat. Teacher: What sentence are you using it in. Mark: My mother told me to get in rat in.	It's bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S
MARK : doctor doctor I keep seeing double! DOCTOR : sit on this chair MARK : which one?	rachee
Man:Doc Doc, my wife thinks she's a Motorbike Doc:Give her this. Man:But if I do, how am I to get home?.	kayla collett
Man: what is a million yrs. ? God: A second to me. Man: What is a million $ ? God: A million $ is like a penny to me. Man: God, will you give me a million $ ? God: Sure, just wait a second! lol	Vegie Girl
man: Theres a fly in my soup! waiter: That will cost extra!!!	da king yeado
M: How's my son doing in your class? T: He surprises me at least once a month! M: In what way? T: Once a month he can answer me correctly!	princess jokes
kyle:Hey michel I can spell something that has over a hundred letters in it. Michel: What? Kyle: Post office!	fifer slicer
Knock,Knock Who's there? Banana Banana Who? Banana Banana who? orange orange who? orange you glad I didn't say banana	Mandy
Knock!Knock! Who's there? Snow Snow who? Snow use I can't remember!!	Chuckie
knock! knock! who's there? isabelle! isabelle who? isabelle outta order! Hee! hee! hee!	Shelly
Knock Knock? Who's There? Olive. Olive Who? Olive You!	Matthew
knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orange you going to open the door?	boOpiE
knock knock who's there? arrowana arrowana who? arrowana see you again!	Amy
knock knock. whos there? Britney. Britney who? knock knock. whos there Ops I did it again	joker
knock knock. who's there? radio. radio who? radio not here i come.	radio
knock knock, whos there? hatch. hatch who. bless you	wiwib
knock knock! Who's there? Lettuce lettuce who? lettuce go out tonight!	tigerlover
Knock knock! Who's there? Door bell repare man! Get it?	Spice
knock knock! who's there? candy candy who? candy door be opened?	kEVIN
Knock Knock! Who's there? Harry Harry who? Harry up I'm starved!	monkey girl
knock knock whos there isabell isabell who isabell necessary on your bike	joker
Kle you've owed me 50cents for weeks. I'll tell you what. I'll forget half of what you owed me. Ok I'll forget the another half.	monkey
Joker: Wanna hear a construction joke? Person: Sure, I'd love to hear a construction joke! Joker: Sorry, I'm still working on it! Person: Ha, ha, ha!!!!!!	lisa2208
Joe:I think sports games are boring. Adam:Why? Joe: I know the score before it starts. Adam: What? Joe: 0 to 0	jr.
Joe: mom, wanna hear a long joke? mom: sure honey Joe: jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke	freddybobjoe & lolulo girl
Jim:did you hear about the man who hijacked a boat? Jill: He asked for 2 million dollars and a parachute	meanie
Jennifer:Jake why is your sister so small?? Jake:she is my half sister!!	half
Isn't there 18 letters in the alphabets? Yes there is because E.T went into the U.F.O and the C.I.A. went after him!	Manny
Is your refrigerator running? Then you better go catch it!	Sam
imagine you are in a haunted house and your surronded by ghosts, vampires and evil monsters. how do you survive?? stop imagining!!	ping
Imagine a duck into a glass bottle how do you get the duck out without breaking the bottle, hurting the duck, or using water? Imagine it out	gsfhadfh
If you had a million dollors and you were about to die what would you do? buy a life saver!	joker prank
If three ghosts run a race which one will win? The one with the most spirit ha, ha ,ha	beebetz
If there is 5 fish in a fishtank 1 drowns how many are left? 5 because fish do not drown.	babygirl
If the pink house has pink bricks,the black one has black bricks. What does the greenhouse have??? A: Glass	katekate
IF CHUCKIE WERE A CAT WHAT KIND WOULD HE BE? A SCAREDY CAT	PAIGE
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims	Chicken
I have 52 heads, 26 legs and 88 hands Who am I? A liar	EJD
I BET I CAN MAKE YOU SPEAK LIKE A DOG. what is on top of a house? A ROOF!!!!! DO YOU GET IT. HA HA HA!	don omar
how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? he could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck chucks if a wood chuck could chuck wood	cookie
How much money does a skunk have? one scent	skunk
HOW MUCH IS 5Q+5Q? 10Q WELCOME!	ding dong
How much dirt is in a hole six feet deep and two feet wide? None it's a hole	kkc
How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but she changes it into a toad!	Lizzy
How many vampires does it take to change a light bulb? None. Vampires prefer the dark.	Manny
How many graves are in a grave yard?? All of them	Marie
How many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach? A: Only 1 because after you eat one its not empty anymore!!	baby d
How is the little shark who swalled the silver dollar?no change yet.	fizz
How does money taste?? really really rich!!jajaja	joker
How Does A Witch Know how much money you have? They can tell your fortune!	Lakota
how does a snow monster build his house?a. iglue	smily
How does a ghost cry? Boo!-hoo	Neha Madeyanda
How does a cow do math? It uses a cowculator!!!	ANGEL
How does a cow count? with a cowculator ha ha ha	jess
How do you stop your pets from getting ticks? Don't let it wear a watch	Raman
How do you stop a lion from charging? take away its credit cards!!	rcky123
how do you start a teddy race? Reddy, Teddy, Go!!!!	The joker
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready teddy go!!!	Khan
How do you start a teddy bear race A. say ready teddy go!!!!	pinky
How do you say chocolate in french? chocolate in french !! duhh	joey jaski's baby girl 4 ever
How do you now your a pirate? your just arrr	bum
How do you make and egg roll? push it	egg roll
How do you make an eggroll? You push it!	yoyogirl
How do you make an eggroll? You push it!	yoyogirl
How do you make a slow horse fast? stop feeding it	horse
How do you make a kleenex dance! Put a little boogy in it!	windal arndt
How do you know when a dinosaur is under your bed? your nose hits the ceiling	dinosaur
How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator? There is 1 set of foot prints! How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator? You can’t shut the refrigerator door!!!!!!	TIFF-TIFF
How do you know Saturns been married so many times? Because he has so many rings	roxy
How do you know if there is a dinosaur under your bed? You listen for the dino-snoar	bugs321456987
How do you fix a car in Scotland? with scotch tape.	Cutiepie16
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste!	moe
How do you cut a sea in half? With a Sea Saw !!!!!!!!!!!	FunnyBones3
How do you clean a messy tuba??????????? With a tuba tooth paste!!!!	how do
How do u spell hard water with 3 letters? ICE	nastassia
How do u make freinds with a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut	Sabre
How do books comunicate? They page each other!	roxy
How do babies cheat at nursery school? crib notes	bo bo man
How did the soilder fit a tank inside of his house? A: It was a fish tank!!!!	Ghetto Gurl
How did the dentist fix the dragons teeth? With a fire drill.	nicole
how could you tell when a ghost is lying? you could see right threw them.	Smoothy
How Can a hamburger run a mile??? because its fastfood!!!!!!!!!!!	K
Hey Mike what do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? I don't know what do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? You get a turken!	babyphat
Have you heard the story of the germ? Never mind, it'll spread.	germex
Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.	smellz (good)
good news:two boys climbing up a tree bad news:one fell out good news:there was a net underneath bad news:there was a rake beside it good news:he missed the rake! bad news:he missed the net too!	maloki
Flight assistant: "would you care for an orange juice"? Person:"if it needed me"	ppp ooffff
FATHER: How are your grades, son? SON: Under water, Dad. FATHER: Under water? What do you mean? SON: They're below C level.	dude
Does any animals have keys? Yes, Monkeys and Donkeys	zorra
Doctor: Whats wrong? Banana: I don't peel well	munshcin
doctor: I have some good news and bad news. patient: whats the good news. doctor: you have 24 hrs. to live. patient: whats the bad news. Doctor I have been trying to tell you that sense yesterday.	the boss
doctor doctor I think I'm a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together then	tunny
doctor doctor i feel like a pack of cards! I will deal with you later	sunshine
Docter,Docter I think I am a deck of cards! Do not worry I will DEAL with you later.	Feather
Docter Docter I feel like a pig How long have you been feeling like this? For a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekk	Monkey moomoo
Do you want to hear the ceiling joke? I should not tell you, it is too far above your head!	smileyman
Do you want to hear the butter joke? I'm not going to tell you. You might spread it.	coolchick
Do you want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it	jokey
do you now why the boy had a measuring tape under his pilow? because he seeing how long he could sleep	Tina
Did you hear the story about the germ? Nevermind, I don't want it to spread.	Eyeball
Did you hear the one about the skunk? Don't worry it stinks.	d-man
Did you hear about the spaceship? It is out of this world.	Pile-o-mud
Did you ever hear about the goldfish that got robbed? Now he’s a bronze fish!!	sharky
Did dinosaurs have telephones? No, but the croc-dial did	Ace Bunny
Daughter: Mom I'm home. Mom: Where have you been the FBI was looking all over for you? Daughter: The FBI? Mom: Yes your Father,Brother,and I!	Jazz
Dad:Are you hungry?. Boy:Yes. Dad:Nice to meet you hungry...whats your last name?	ninja boy
CUSTOMER:WAITER WHY IS MY FOOD FLAT? WAITER:WHEN YOU ORDERED YOUR FOOD YOU SAID TO STEP ON IT!	TWEETY
customer:'waiter waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup' waiter(sobbing)'and he was so young'	chihuahua
chealsea: i bet i can make you say blue. maddison: try me chealsea: whats the color of the chalk? Maddison: green chealsea: told you i could make you say green. Maddison;no you said blue. uh oh.	kennedy
CAN YOU MAKE A SENTENCE OUT OF THE COLORS GREEN,PINK,AND YELLOW? WHEN THE PHONE GOES GREEN,GREEN,PINK IT UP AND SAY YELLOW	SALIMAH
Brian: Doc I am having a problem in remembering things Doc: And when did this problem start? Brian: Problem? What problem?	peguines
boy:i have been seeing spots for a sometime friend:did u ever see a doctor? boy:nope just spots	Guyanas Pride
BOY:EWW! Theres a bug in my fries! CAFETERIA LADY: Don't worry, kid. The spider in your burger will eat it up in no time!	Crazy Smiling Face
Boy: I got blamed for something I didn't do. Friend: What? Boy: My Homework!	Bookworm
Bob: I fell off a 10 foot ladder. Rob: Were you hurt? Bob: No I fell off the second step.	Manny
Billy's mom had four kids Penny, Nickel, and dime what was the fourth ones name? Billy!!! Get it? Billy's mom.	dance
BETTY: Doctor,I seem to have been seeing purple monsters with pink spots. DOCTOR: Have you seen an eye doctor? BETTY: No. Just purple monsters with pink spots. HA! HA! HA!	LADYBUGGY
BACON:How's the weather down here? EGG:It's a little sunny side up!!	REEF
Amer: Dad can u write in a dark Dad: I think so. What do u want me to write. Amer: Your name on my report card	Maryum
ally:are you smart Billy:yes Ally:spell it. Billy:S-M-A-R-T Ally:Nope I said spell IT.	berry10
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter	Bubbles
A:why did the cookie go to the doctors Q:because he was feeling crumby	cherie
A:What do you call two married spiders? Q:newley webbed! hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha	TABA
A:What do you call to married spiders Q:newley webbed!	TABA
A:knock knock B:who is there? A:cow goes B:cow goes who? A:NO,cow goes moo	lil angle
A pizza man and a banker are similar because their good with dough.	pooh
A Mommy tomato, a Daddy tomato and a Baby tomato all went out for a walk, when the Baby tomato started lagging behind, the Daddy tomato walked back to him, stepped on him and said ketchup(catch up)	Winged Wonder
A man went to the doctor and said, "I have a memory problem." The doctor said, "OK. Tell me more about your problem." The man said, "What problem?"	klj
A man walks into a doctors office and says "I have a Memory problem" The doctor says "OK tell me more about your problem" The man says "What problem?"	cowgirlup95
A man said Doctor Doctor I think I need glasses and the man said you certainly do sir this is a restaurant	Hannah C. C
A man found a pig and a police officer said to take it to the zoo. officer: so you took the pig? man: yes, and we had so much fun at the zoo, today we're going to the park!	chel
A duck walks into a candy shop byes a stick of gum. The cashier askes cash or charge? The duck says put it on my bill!	K
A duck goes in to a store and buys some chapstick. The clerk asks if this will be cash or charge. The duck says just put it on my BILL	logo
A duck and a rabbit went to a restaraunt who do you think paid? The duck he had the bill!!!!!	MC Mong
A deer a skunk, and a duck go into a restrant. When it is time to pay , the deer did not have a buck, the skunk did not have a cent, so they put it on the duck's bill!	Goldie
A dear, a skunk and a duck go into a resturaunt. When it is time to pay,the dear didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a cent, so they put it on the ducks bill!	Bookworm
A baby lion is chaseing a man around a tree.Mother Lion:Honey, don't play with your food.	quick boy
/q/ What starts with an e and ends with an e with 1 letter in it? /a/ an envelope	inu-girl
(This did NOT happen to me) A girl texted: What does IDK mean? ME: I don't know GIRL: OMG!!! No one else does, either!	crazychick
(Say to an adult)You say:"How many kidneys do you have?" They say: "two" You say: "Wrong! You don't have any kid-nees, only adult knees"	Bean Head
(Q)why did mrs.mushroom marry mr.mushroom? (A) because he was a fun....guy!	fay
(Q)If an athlete has athlete's foot, what does an astaurnat have? (A) Missile Toe!	Christine
(Q) why doesn"t a cheetah like to do laundry? (A) it has so many spots	Brandon's Girlfriend
(Q) WHATS HEAVIER 1 POUND OF LEAD OR 1 POUND OF FEATHERS? (A) THEY ARE BOTH 1 POUND.	BATON QUEEN
(Q) whats a mummys favorite kind of music? (A)wrap music	princess14
(Q) what did the anouncer named his son? (A) mike	pinklady
'what illness do retired pilots get?' 'flu'	chihuahua
'waiter, call the manager, i cant eat this stew' 'he wouldnt eat it either sir'	chihuahua
'waiter waiter, whats this fly doing in my soup?' 'looks like its trying to get out sir'	chihuahua
'waiter waiter, this soup tastes funny' 'then why arent you laughing then?'	chihuahua
'waiter waiter theres a fly in my soup' 'thats alright sir, he wont drink much'	chihuahua
'doctor,doctor, my hair is falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in?' 'how about a paper bag?'	chihuhaua
'doc-doct-docter, i ha-ve diff-i-cul-ty sp-eak-ing' 'sorry i wasnt listening, could you repeat that?'	chihuahua
"What's green and sings" "Elvis Parsley."	president somalia
5/4 people are bad with fractions	cool