25 Super Funny Animal Jokes
| Why do cows never have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry! |
| Wandering inside a pet store, I stopped in front of a birdcage to admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?” |
| Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” |
| Q. What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert? A. A pie-thon! |
| Q: Why did the pig have ink all over its face? A: Because it came out of the pen. |
| Q: What’s the smartest animal? A: A fish because they stay in schools! |
| Q: What is the best way to cook a gator? A: In a crock-pot |
| Q: What happened when the frog’s car broke down on the side of the road? A: It gets toad away. |
| Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide? A: A giraffic jam |
| Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A: An Investigator! |
| Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert? A: Lost |
| Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A: A pouch potato. |
| Q: What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back? A: Wheeeeeeeee |
| Q: What did the snail say as he rode along on the turtle’s back? A: Wheeee! |
| Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? A: “Dam!” |
| Q: How are a cat and a sentence different? A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause! |
| Q: Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? A: He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. |
| On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.” |
| It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed. Nobody wants a loyal snake. |
| I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. |
| An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?” …… “Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun,” the elephant said. “Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?” “Well I have turtle recall,” replied the elephant. |
| A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big “S” on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he’s flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, ” Look at that S-Car-Go!” |
| A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community! |
| A college girl was visiting my farm and noticed the ring in our bull’s nose. Intrigued, she asked, “Did you put that ring in his nose or was he born that way?” |
| A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. |
| Funny Jokes are just apart of growing. Children love animals more than other things they love. Many of the first vocabulary children learn to have to do with all kinds of creatures, from puppies in the park to cats that live at home or the bunny rabbits that rule the most beloved storybooks. So it’s only fair for animal jokes to be a great candidate for your kid’s first jokes to learn. The best animal joke, like all great corny jokes for children, probably includes some form of wordplay, preferably more than one animal pun. And with a sound-effect-based joke, the best animal jokes for kids double down on the pun, before madness sets in. How many times would you make a joke about a duck by using ‘quack’? A great deal. |